disappointment

before,i thought i am the cream of the coup
after, i know i'm nothing.
before, i thought i'd the best supervisor
after, i knew i still'd them, just that i do not appreciate.
before, i thought i will definitely score well,
after, i knew that i may fail
before, i thought i'd covered everything.
after, i see nothing that i'd covered.
before, i aimed for great heights,
after, i aimed for nothing..

i;m just a useless student wasting my lecturers time and effort.

unstable emotion

when approaching study week, there is always hormone imbalance...
it happens in guy or a girl.
anyone can just get it..
just couldn't understand,
how someone, so slack
so relax
so lazy
so unremorseful
can pass their exam ...
passed their exam
not only with passing grades,
but with flying colors either..
i wonder
how can they serve up to be a good professional in the future..
just could hope
tat i can do my best..
can get the best..
out of myself..
to service the public..

because of my kehamsapan, i lost 2 good friends..
because of this, because of that...
i did the wrong decision..

in life, we always do the wrong decision..
but, we only realise that we did mistake after we'd done that..
what we can do, is salvation.

to salvage, we need to think from every aspect of the problem..
and to empathize everyone, tolerate every heart..

we know, we always do mistake in our life..
mistake, is where we learn..
where we fall..
and where we climb up again..

learn, to learn, and learn again..
we must not hurt anyone..
we must try to not hurt anyone..
or reduce the risk to the lowest..
to reduce the effect of the your actions..

be strong my friend..
good luck
&
all the best

is all that i can do..

thoughts

suddenly you told me
that the end is near
that it is next year.
the 1st day of next year.
i started to think
think deeply
think hardly
why
why
why
why could it end like this?
and why?
why must it be like this?

you told me
you're afraid that we may longer meet each other in the next life
i tell you
i'm afraid too
much much afraid
very much afraid..
y
how
this couldn't be happening
we were just swaying towards our beautiful and hectic life..
trying to build our home together..
striving for success for our future..

and now
you tell me..
the end is near..
y
y should it be like this..

how much time left..
how much moments left..
i want to be with you..
i must spend my rest with you..

all i want is only you..

hectic life

getting toward the end of my posting, life becomes as hectic as ever, with various teachings and examinations, preparation for finals and so on.
however, i've not forgotten you.
finally u went to clinic again. and this time, they gave you another medicine.
i don't know how long it'll works,
but i hope it can be eternity,
and you need not rely on it.
hectic work inssipated into our life,
and yet,
i'll not forget you,
will never forget to care bout you
to care bout ur health
to care bout ur current status
to concern you

hopefully, your problem can be treated medically..
hopefully, we can brace through this hardship of our life..
hopefully, i am just being over frantic and there is nothing wrong with you..

i'm planning to walk the rest of my journey holding your hands..
love.

rennaissance

vanquishing myself from blogging after such a long time, here i am again.
back, to the world of bloggers,
then, i blog to spill out my fillings.
now, i am back with the same reason.
then, i done it for her.
now, i do it for you.

worried, is the only word i use to describe myself.
our love had bud and blossomed since we first struck.
entering maturation stage, we care, we share and we lived.
for each other.
there is no way,
no way,
that i can lose you.
that i can leave you.
that i can abandon you.

i'm worried,
indeed,
very worried,
of your condition.

i pray
i hope
i wish
you'll be fine.
i love you.